Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
