drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
