Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
