So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
