he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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