at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I just want nice things and good sex
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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