how can u be prego again
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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