He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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