but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Randomize
