Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
