The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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