Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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