Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
