my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
