You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We had to coat check the pizza.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
