He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
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