i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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