Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
No stitches, just platelets and will power
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Someone came in the potted fern
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
