I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
