I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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