She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
