found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
