he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
