Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
