I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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