Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
