i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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