i would punch a child for taco bell
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
