just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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