You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
