I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
