im drinking this country out of the recession.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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