Yo dont text me then not text me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
