and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
there is glitter all over my balls
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