Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
