im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
cat food counts as protein by the way
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
