Are we in a gay sports bar?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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