he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
