so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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