Don't you send me to vm
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
