That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
one might say we're banned from that church
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
