Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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