Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Who died my cat blue again?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
