hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
