....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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