oh god the rape fog is back!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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