You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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