Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
