Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
