In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
