I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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