Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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