Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Still dying that you shit outside
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Randomize
