Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I just found puke in my bra..
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
He shit in the fireplace
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